Letters from Earth: Rufus- Just Saying:
Bike Helmets and Sports Bras
9 July 2022

Hank and I are on strike. Dadperson isn’t doing the mowing. Momperson is, and she won’t let us run around  like Dadperson does while she mows. How can I patrol the woods and warn off intruders if I have to stay in the dog-corral? We are not talking to Momperson. She is very mean.
And this is what she looks like after she finishes mowing. So there!

Hank and Rufus will feel better after they get peanut butter cookies. And they are sort of right about the hair situation after I mow.

The Prince Consort was in the hospital, and then he came home with big oxygen tanks. He swore he could strap them on his rider mower, the big scary one with the stick handles for steering. I looked at him real hard and said, “Nope.”
Which means I did the mowing. We have a lot of not exactly grass, but green stuff to mow. About ten acres. I’m pretty good on the little John Deere rider mower. So for six mornings I mowed and mowed. And that was enough. The big scary Cheetah mower was sitting in the barn just giving me its big scary superior look.

I have never been good at right and left. When I took sailing lessons as a teen, I had an almost disastrous time figuring out which way to push the tiller and do it without capsizing. The Monster Mower has handles instead of a wheel to steer. Shades of sailing, I was going to have to know right from left. ARGH!
But the first five acres I’d mowed were growing fast and the second five were approaching jungle status. So there was no choice. The Prince consort gave me a short tutorial, then parked in the shade in his UTV and watched me go. And I did.

There are several lessons to be learned from mowing ‘grass’ so overgrown the martins follow you around for the bugs you’re kicking up.
Lesson # 1: wear a bike helmet. When you mow under a big tree, those branches do not move out of your way, and you can only flatten yourself so much to get under them.

Lesson #2: Find a really constricting sports bra. How is it the Prince Consort never mentioned how much jouncing and bouncing around goes on out there? Ouch.

Lesson #3: Find where the Prince Consort puts his gaiters and wear one over your mouth. Only the martins catch those bugs in the air and enjoy the taste.

Lesson #4: Two hours of clinching the steering sticks with a death grip is about equal to two hours of isometrics for the arms. I should be buff in no time. And by no time, I mean tomorrow when I have to start the mowing all over on the parts I started with six days ago.

The photos above show much of today’s 5 acres, but not all. To the tree lines.

Kath

All photos are the property of Kath Boyd Marsh. Neither text nor photos may be copied or otherwise used without the written permission of Kath Boyd Marsh