MomPerson has all kinds of rules. Like no peeing in the house.
Today she set us down to list a new set of rules: The Rules for Barking. Surprisingly it wasn’t long. But there’s a reason for that.
She pulled out “visual aids.” Hank thought she was talking about a new kind of treat, but no, it was a bunch of photographs to illustrate the barking rules. First: bark only from the corral or outdoors when announcing a trail of something interesting. Don’t bark, jump the fence, and chase.
Anyway, I’m good with Barking but not chasing bears-#1. I will bark plenty and NOT chase. Bears are not for chasing.
The next photo was of a deer chasing a turkey. So Hank barked up with, “Only deer get to chase turkeys? And nobody barks. Right?”
MomPerson’s lips got kind of tight. She pointed to a fox photo. “No chasing!”
I’m a Fox Hound. I’m pretty sure “no chasing foxes” is against my religion.
We are not to bark or chase the Farmer Joe’s cows. Of course not. Those are Momma cows and this time of year they have babies. Really. We already knew that.
Hank yawned. He gets bored easily. He asked about bugs. MomPerson looked a little confused. Then he snapped at a lantern fly. She said he could bark, but not eat!!!
Next he asked about butterflies, which he never chases. He was just winding her up now. She said no. Definitely not. And no bees. I said, “I know this one. Bees have swords attached to their butts. Hurts.”
MomPerson shook her head.“Swords? Sure. Close enough.”
Hank asked about howling at moons. Which made MomPerson sigh again.
So I rescued us. I didn’t want her to give up on us and forget to hand out treats. I suggested we could bark at rainbows. We get a lot here. I pointed out she’d read us a story about Leprechauns storing treasure at the end of rainbows. Gold could buy a lot of dog treats.
She closed her eyes, nodded, and went to the treat jar. We each got cookie, and she left muttering to herself.
Hank went out in the corral, snapped up a big lazy bee and just as quickly spit it out.
“Told you so,” I said and stretched out beside him to watch for the Delivery trucks that we ARE allowed to bark at but NOT chase.
Just Saying,
Rufus and Hank
