Cardio Saturday into Day 25 of the De Fluffing
12 August 2012
Today, day 25 of the DeFluffing, The Prince Consort and I walked THREE MILES on the walking trails around the county fishing pond. And I’ve lost a total of 7.5 pounds over the last 24 days. I can’t say that it’s getting easier, but it stays interesting.
Like yesterday when I got my cardio rate up by taking a Concealed Carry class. I haven’t been in a classroom with two tests hanging over my head in years. No, don’t ask, I won’t tell how many years. What I will say is thank goodness this was not the realization of that recurring nightmare of taking a test buck naked.
Concealed Carry licensing is serious business in Kentucky. Interestingly a CCWeapon includes anything that can shoot exhausted (?) uranium. (Uranium too pooped to pop is going to … ? ) Maybe that was depleted uranium. Whichever. This became a topic of class chatter. Not that it was on anyone’s shopping list. We needed levity, because we’d just finished a mind-numbing hour plus video featuring two equally bored lawyers reading all the laws and sub sections and sections of laws pertaining to concealed carrying of a weapon in KY. And we had to pay attention because there would be a TEST!
After a five minute break when everyone shot over to the soft drink machine they’d ignored at 8 in the morning but now desperately needed for caffeine, another video was coming.
I don’t think I’ve paid as close attention to anything since college. (And don’t repeat this to TPC who thinks I hang on his every word. Yeah, I know. That’s just one of the many definitions of a male.) Well, besides Professor Daughter’s kindergarten assembly in which she stood up front on the stage, casually picked her nose, and pulled her skirt up over her head. Atta girl. Disappointingly, she did not repeat this at her PhD graduation.
What was I muttering about. Oh, yeah. The CC class. Another video. A Lecture and it was time to take that test. Here came the TEST ANXIETY! Heart rate about a gazillion whatevers.
I passed. Perfect score. 100%!!!! YES!!! So did TPC.
But then my heart rate went stratospheric. Next test: Go to the shooting range to fire at a target in the shape of a human. And hit it. I had never fired the gun we bought for Concealed Carry. Or any handgun for years and years. Maybe just after fire was discovered.
When it was my turn, my heart was making a break for leaving my body; my hands were trembling; I couldn’t form words. I’m telling you cardio up the kazoo. I did indeed shoot the man-target, hit the zone 16 of 20 shots. Most of which were down in the nether regions of the man-target. That’s Gotta Hurt!
The instructor asked where I was aiming. He seemed a bit bothered by how all my shots were so groin-oriented. Everyone else grouped in the chest area. Hmmmm.
Kath: who passed, but whose cardio rate will not go down. When the certificate comes, and we go to the Sheriff’s office to apply for licenses, I have to present a PHOTO! Of me! ARGH!!!
